Susan, you will probably recognize me as someone who has followed your writing and personal adventures for years, and that mean, if course, that I know Cassie. Now you have introduced me to Megan. My daughter in law had a son to the powerhouse minister's son when she was 12 and he, 13. She was expelled from the church, and was in a guardianship at the time. Her Aunt and Uncle discussed open adoption with her, and that was what she chose, but at 13, what choices did she have? I met her baby's adoptive parents 5 years later when she and my son married, and they were a good pairing for her son, but my daughter-in-law, who is now in her 40's was deeply scared, and I believe she has transferred her resentment of the adults in her life 25 years ago to me, because she after 20years of marriage, she and my son finally conceived a child and moved to Tennessee, terminating all contact with me, and her own her adult relatives. I have a granddaughter living not far from you who I shall never see, and not all of it was because of an event that occurred when she was still a child. The same mindset that made her an outcast when she was expelled from the religious school and church while the son of the powerhouse pastor went unscathed is the same mindset that is driving a large segment of American society to impose a tired, rigid ethic on the rest of us.
I've read and will continue to read a multitude of personal perspectives on Dobbs. Yours is the first I've found to reveal the grateful but respectfully conflicted heart of an adoptive mother intent on open adoption. As a mother myself, I am struck by the maternal tenderness of your feelings toward Megan in her groping, inarticulate agony. You did your best. She did too. This version of "best" should not be forced on anyone in the demeaning, inhumane conviction that it solves a supplky-chain problem.
What a lovely comment! I can’t tell you how much I loved what you wrote; It just about brought me to tears. (BTW, for a while I fantasized about adopting “Megan” too! She and I got very close when I was in Texas, and I so wished she had more opportunities in her life. But it wasn’t something that could or should happen, and she’s doing well now. Cassie corresponds with her kids regularly, which is great. We were planning a visit from them when the pandemic struck. It’ll happen at some point.)
Years ago, I finally questioned why...when I got frustrated or disappointed in myself...I vividly fantasized about slitting my wrists. I asked Dad if he knew where I got that instinct. He wrote back " ask your mom." They had divorced years ago.
In person...I talked to Mom. And she owned up to the truth. She, pregnant with me, had caught dad with another woman as they both got out of a car; and in front of them, mom slit her wrist. After a few seconds of shock, I was overjoyed. There was a reason, and I was free of the impulse. And also proud that they both owned up to it. And after the divorce, Dad did marry this other woman.
Well, dramatic story. But there is another element. I have remembered many past lives, mostly as slave, soldier or freedom fighter, seldom living beyond age 20. And I have been dramatically visited by many soon after they died. We exist beyond the grave.
And I remember my previous life ... black soldier in WWII, dying of heart attack at the shipyard where I worked. So I leave that body and am given an offer.. a girl this time, but white...and " no waiting." Well. Okay I guess. So in I go, only to have her attempt suicide, with me onboard
I think some on the left have experienced themselves choosing to enter the fetus, becoming then a person in the womb. They acknowledge eternal life, past lives.
Before the soul enters, the fetus was a developing organism. Studies done with those who remember entering the womb put that time at 4 to 6 months. Some remember having to leave the womb, to get in line for another mother or the same woman at a future time.
I think this is why liberals are ok keeping early abortion as an option...the fetus is not human, yet. But then later, we are inventive in ways to stimulate and enrich the baby's womb experience, by singing or playing music for it.
The accusations of us favoring abortion after the baby is born is totally cruel and untrue. But they keep lying. Just as they keep lying about the pedophile cabal, grooming children ...um... projecting much?
I was an unwed mother in the 50s. I met the adoptive father & knew where the child would go. I no longer remember the details & I don´t care. / In the process of divorce, my husband said that we were still married & that I still owed him sex. That child was also adopted. I have forgotten the details & I do not care. / In a world of Human-Population-Pollution, we need healthier, productive people. This is my Focus as a Vegan. I feel I am losing the fight.
Dear Linda, Carol and Jean: I don’t know how I missed your comments, but somehow I only saw them now. I apologize. I try to respond to every comment, and all of yours give me so much of yourselves I feel especially bad to have missed them.
Susan, you will probably recognize me as someone who has followed your writing and personal adventures for years, and that mean, if course, that I know Cassie. Now you have introduced me to Megan. My daughter in law had a son to the powerhouse minister's son when she was 12 and he, 13. She was expelled from the church, and was in a guardianship at the time. Her Aunt and Uncle discussed open adoption with her, and that was what she chose, but at 13, what choices did she have? I met her baby's adoptive parents 5 years later when she and my son married, and they were a good pairing for her son, but my daughter-in-law, who is now in her 40's was deeply scared, and I believe she has transferred her resentment of the adults in her life 25 years ago to me, because she after 20years of marriage, she and my son finally conceived a child and moved to Tennessee, terminating all contact with me, and her own her adult relatives. I have a granddaughter living not far from you who I shall never see, and not all of it was because of an event that occurred when she was still a child. The same mindset that made her an outcast when she was expelled from the religious school and church while the son of the powerhouse pastor went unscathed is the same mindset that is driving a large segment of American society to impose a tired, rigid ethic on the rest of us.
I've read and will continue to read a multitude of personal perspectives on Dobbs. Yours is the first I've found to reveal the grateful but respectfully conflicted heart of an adoptive mother intent on open adoption. As a mother myself, I am struck by the maternal tenderness of your feelings toward Megan in her groping, inarticulate agony. You did your best. She did too. This version of "best" should not be forced on anyone in the demeaning, inhumane conviction that it solves a supplky-chain problem.
What a lovely comment! I can’t tell you how much I loved what you wrote; It just about brought me to tears. (BTW, for a while I fantasized about adopting “Megan” too! She and I got very close when I was in Texas, and I so wished she had more opportunities in her life. But it wasn’t something that could or should happen, and she’s doing well now. Cassie corresponds with her kids regularly, which is great. We were planning a visit from them when the pandemic struck. It’ll happen at some point.)
What a gripping story and life experience.
Years ago, I finally questioned why...when I got frustrated or disappointed in myself...I vividly fantasized about slitting my wrists. I asked Dad if he knew where I got that instinct. He wrote back " ask your mom." They had divorced years ago.
In person...I talked to Mom. And she owned up to the truth. She, pregnant with me, had caught dad with another woman as they both got out of a car; and in front of them, mom slit her wrist. After a few seconds of shock, I was overjoyed. There was a reason, and I was free of the impulse. And also proud that they both owned up to it. And after the divorce, Dad did marry this other woman.
Well, dramatic story. But there is another element. I have remembered many past lives, mostly as slave, soldier or freedom fighter, seldom living beyond age 20. And I have been dramatically visited by many soon after they died. We exist beyond the grave.
And I remember my previous life ... black soldier in WWII, dying of heart attack at the shipyard where I worked. So I leave that body and am given an offer.. a girl this time, but white...and " no waiting." Well. Okay I guess. So in I go, only to have her attempt suicide, with me onboard
I think some on the left have experienced themselves choosing to enter the fetus, becoming then a person in the womb. They acknowledge eternal life, past lives.
Before the soul enters, the fetus was a developing organism. Studies done with those who remember entering the womb put that time at 4 to 6 months. Some remember having to leave the womb, to get in line for another mother or the same woman at a future time.
I think this is why liberals are ok keeping early abortion as an option...the fetus is not human, yet. But then later, we are inventive in ways to stimulate and enrich the baby's womb experience, by singing or playing music for it.
The accusations of us favoring abortion after the baby is born is totally cruel and untrue. But they keep lying. Just as they keep lying about the pedophile cabal, grooming children ...um... projecting much?
I was an unwed mother in the 50s. I met the adoptive father & knew where the child would go. I no longer remember the details & I don´t care. / In the process of divorce, my husband said that we were still married & that I still owed him sex. That child was also adopted. I have forgotten the details & I do not care. / In a world of Human-Population-Pollution, we need healthier, productive people. This is my Focus as a Vegan. I feel I am losing the fight.
Dear Linda, Carol and Jean: I don’t know how I missed your comments, but somehow I only saw them now. I apologize. I try to respond to every comment, and all of yours give me so much of yourselves I feel especially bad to have missed them.