Huckabee is using an argument that makes the genetic bond between mother and child more important or more real than the equally genetic imperative to build family groups. Adoption is a sign of a species' flexability and adaptability, and there are many examples of it across the animal kingdom, so what she is saying is untrue even in nature.
This concept of ownership between parents and children comes straight out of a patriarchal society that saw children (who survived) as property to assist in household income. It survives in the idea that parents have total and unquestioned control over children. Humans can’t own other humans in this sense or any other. Children are a responsibility, not property.
I was raised by my mom and stepfather, and I thought I was lucky to have 2 sets of parents who loved me. Cassie sounds the same. I was closest to my stepfather. It wasn’t just that he loved me by choice; he treated all the children in the family, whether he was biologically related or not, with generosity and unconditional love. I went to a Catholic school, so I knew early on that some people were basing their judgement on rigid cultural rules that had nothing to do with actual families. A matriarchal history would have produced radically different outcomes, I think.
I didn’t know that you are an adoptive mom. I almost was. We had a newborn baby girl for one month, taken home from the hospital. We tried for an open adoption too. The biological father contested the adoption—we found out a month in. It’s a long and absolutely wild story, one I’ve been trying to write, but the project is on stall again. We don’t know who she ended up with, but it wasn’t us or either biological parent.
Thank you for sharing this heartfelt and beautiful story.
For what it's worth-Sarah Huckabee Sanders is a twit.
Biology just means you have a genetic connection, it doesn't make you a parent. Parenting is the hours of love and angst and shared experiences as your child grows. It is the parent teacher nights, the scraped knees, and the school plays and performances. It is helping her with her homework, the time you needed to take her for her first bra and sanitary pads. It is the time you hugged her tight when that jerk of a boy crush asked her friend to the dance instead of her. It is the pride of a school graduation, and the beautiful prom pictures. It is helping her find out all that she can be and then some. You are your daughter's mother and Edward is her father. She is lucky to be so loved and from the pictures you post you can see it in her face that she knows how lucky she is.
Open adoptions are very unique. It is a kindness to the birth mother to let her know what is happening with that child. (it is really an acknowledgement by society of the truth of what is happening and how society embraces and tries to help everyone for the child's sake, which is wonderful. By the way someone I am acquainted with is also an adoptive parent with an open adoption. That girl like your baby is very loved.) You write so beautifully and caringly with concern about the grieving this 15 year old went through and you felt every bit of it. You are a truly special and lovely person.
The sad truth is that statistically the most dangerous person for a child is their non-genetic stepparent. But it doesn't mean it's the rule. It also doesn't necessarily mean its the majority. People need to be judged by their actions not their titles.
Whether you like Kamala Harris' politics or not, the one thing no one can take from her is the fact that she has a happy blended family, and those children feel loved and seen by all 3 of their parents.
What a beautiful and heartwarming account you’ve written of the myriad challenges of being a mom. Society just won’t let women be. Cassie is blessed to have you and Edward as parents. 💕
Huckabee is using an argument that makes the genetic bond between mother and child more important or more real than the equally genetic imperative to build family groups. Adoption is a sign of a species' flexability and adaptability, and there are many examples of it across the animal kingdom, so what she is saying is untrue even in nature.
This concept of ownership between parents and children comes straight out of a patriarchal society that saw children (who survived) as property to assist in household income. It survives in the idea that parents have total and unquestioned control over children. Humans can’t own other humans in this sense or any other. Children are a responsibility, not property.
I was raised by my mom and stepfather, and I thought I was lucky to have 2 sets of parents who loved me. Cassie sounds the same. I was closest to my stepfather. It wasn’t just that he loved me by choice; he treated all the children in the family, whether he was biologically related or not, with generosity and unconditional love. I went to a Catholic school, so I knew early on that some people were basing their judgement on rigid cultural rules that had nothing to do with actual families. A matriarchal history would have produced radically different outcomes, I think.
I didn’t know that you are an adoptive mom. I almost was. We had a newborn baby girl for one month, taken home from the hospital. We tried for an open adoption too. The biological father contested the adoption—we found out a month in. It’s a long and absolutely wild story, one I’ve been trying to write, but the project is on stall again. We don’t know who she ended up with, but it wasn’t us or either biological parent.
Thank you for sharing this heartfelt and beautiful story.
For what it's worth-Sarah Huckabee Sanders is a twit.
Biology just means you have a genetic connection, it doesn't make you a parent. Parenting is the hours of love and angst and shared experiences as your child grows. It is the parent teacher nights, the scraped knees, and the school plays and performances. It is helping her with her homework, the time you needed to take her for her first bra and sanitary pads. It is the time you hugged her tight when that jerk of a boy crush asked her friend to the dance instead of her. It is the pride of a school graduation, and the beautiful prom pictures. It is helping her find out all that she can be and then some. You are your daughter's mother and Edward is her father. She is lucky to be so loved and from the pictures you post you can see it in her face that she knows how lucky she is.
Open adoptions are very unique. It is a kindness to the birth mother to let her know what is happening with that child. (it is really an acknowledgement by society of the truth of what is happening and how society embraces and tries to help everyone for the child's sake, which is wonderful. By the way someone I am acquainted with is also an adoptive parent with an open adoption. That girl like your baby is very loved.) You write so beautifully and caringly with concern about the grieving this 15 year old went through and you felt every bit of it. You are a truly special and lovely person.
The sad truth is that statistically the most dangerous person for a child is their non-genetic stepparent. But it doesn't mean it's the rule. It also doesn't necessarily mean its the majority. People need to be judged by their actions not their titles.
Whether you like Kamala Harris' politics or not, the one thing no one can take from her is the fact that she has a happy blended family, and those children feel loved and seen by all 3 of their parents.
What does real have to do with it when you are giving “love”!
There is truth to it. I think many of us could tell you tales of abuse at the hands of step mothers.
Amazing story and journey. Thank you for sharing.
What a beautiful and heartwarming account you’ve written of the myriad challenges of being a mom. Society just won’t let women be. Cassie is blessed to have you and Edward as parents. 💕